Not For Long

Freeze
In some shadow,
look left
look right
stare straight ahead
straining your peripheral vision
eye muscles aching
wanting to be super human
the thought of how this mess began
am i really doing this

right
now?

Hear them coming like wild animals
think of who you left at home
no one
see the dingy winter grass
smell the sweat off your skin

remember
remember,
what you could've been
and that you're running from fate
they're all waiting at home for you to fall
and break your skull open

everyone's waiting for the blood

it needs to end now,
how would a grandmother say it,
or a mother,

what words would fall off your tongue
if you hadn't bit the end of it off

and the reverberations of hoof beats
are felt in your stomach,

when the weakness sets in,
just stop.

you're weak.
just, stop.

what are the last thoughts that you'll have
"nothing has been monumental,

and I am not a monument."