Reaching the Exit First

How can you tell me that this is so important to you?
Oh dear, I've always known you were lying about something.
Oh dear, how naive.
Oh dear, I am angry.
Oh damn, I thought I saw you moving.
Oh shit, it's just you breathing.
Well fuck, you're not alive.
Um crap, what's the next step of my plan.

Oh, I didn't expect you to start living again
not after I killed you like that
so my plan stopped when you stopped
but you haven't so I'm still going
but there are no more directions
so I'm fucked

again.

And now, the sun is punching through
and the guitar is playing in my head,
the first chord like a brief smile
however, looming and pointing to dispair.

If I had boxes, I would pack them
if I had plates, I would break them
if I had grudges, I would hold them

but i don't--
I've got white knuckles and a really shitty situation,
and this beautiful song playing in my head.

sounds like I've got life.

who's waiting for who to quit breathing now?
because I've already started walking away.